Kismet or Calamity
by kpotter1993
Summary: Sarah Anderson has either the best or worst luck of anyone you've ever seen. She keeps stumbling across some of the biggest moments in the Avengers Universe. Rated T for profanity.


**(A/N: Just a little one-shot that sprang forth from my brain. I don't own the Avengers, enjoy!)**

 **Kismet or Calamity?**

 _ **Los Angeles, CA**_

 _ **October 2010**_

Sarah Anderson clutched the wheel of her precious second-hand Honda Accord that she had worked so diligently for the previous summer as it was batted away by some Goliath sized robot thing.

 _Is this real life?! What even is that thing? This is how I'm going to die, isn't it?_ were the only coherent thoughts the poor high school senior had as her baby tumbled across the freeway, whipping her around with it. Her screamed profanities must have been loud enough for the smaller robot guy to hear, because he flew over (not before stunning the large monstrosity with some sort of shock) and stopped her car's little gymnastics routine.

"You alright, kid?" came the distorted male voice of her apparent savior.

Before the stunned girl could respond, he was knocked away by his opponent.

When she was sure that the battling machines were a relatively safe distance away, Sarah unhooked her seat belt and flumped onto the roof of her battered car. She groaned as her phone, having slipped out of her pocket, dropped onto her face. Everything hurt. After patting herself down to check for anything more serious than the bruises and cuts she could already feel, she shimmied her way carefully out of the shattered window next to her with her phone in hand.

Just in time for the Stark building to explode nearby, nearly knocking the short girl over.

Shakily the battered teen started to make her way toward the nearest gas station, dialing her mom's number all the while.

"Mom? I ran into a little trouble on my way back from class…. Could you come get me? I'll text you the address."

 _ **New York City, NY**_

 _ **Late May 2011**_

"Why me?" Sarah panted as she ran with the crowd, away from the berserker-bots. At least, that's what she had dubbed them in her mind.

Just then, she caught sight of a little kid in an Iron Man costume foolishly trying to take one on. She tackled him out of the way just in time for the real Iron Man to swoop in and blast it.

"Nice work, kid. Love the hair." Stark commented flippantly as he jetted off again.

Sarah rolled off the kid, blowing the hair she had streaked with red and gold in honor of her favorite hero's suit out of her face.

"Some graduation present." She commented drily to the still shocked kid lying next to her.

 _ **Puente Antiguo, NM**_

 _ **Early June 2011**_

"You've- "slam"-got- "slam"-to- "slam"-be- "SLAM"-SHITTING ME!" Sarah shrieked, slamming her head against the seat in front of her.

Here she was, innocently riding a bus home from the catastrophe that was the Stark Expo, when the town where they had stopped for gas was assaulted by streams of fire coming from a strange looking robot.

As she grabbed her bag and ran with the other passengers, she grumbled, "Always with the fucking robots! Flipping my car, blowing shit up, and now spewing fire!"

A girl they passed who was holding back an older woman from joining the battle that was going on heard her and asked the struggling woman, "Dude, what's her deal?"

 **N** _ **ew York City, NY**_

 _ **April 2012**_

"Hey!" Sarah exclaimed as she was knocked down by what felt to be a brick wall. Looking up, she saw that it was a rather built blonde man.

He turned his head back as he ran with a little too much speed to be natural, "Sorry miss!"

As Sarah was dusting herself off and grabbing her rather heavy backpack, she had to jump out of the way of several large black cars chasing the man who had knocked her down.

Shaking slightly from the sudden rush of adrenaline, Sarah tried to reassure herself by muttering, "At least there weren't any robots this time."

 _ **New York City, NY**_

 _ **Early May 2012**_

"I didn't ask for any of this shit, y'know? I just try to live my life. Go to school, go on trips, work a job….. Why do I always have to pick the places where THIS BULLSHIT HAPPENS?!" Sarah knew she shouldn't be raging while she was helping the customers at the café she was working hide.

"Does anyone have any injuries?" She called out, gathering the first aid kit she had taken to carrying with her always. "I have first aid training!"

Just as she was finishing wrapping a rather large cut on a small child's arm, one of the aliens decided to start shooting at them.

"Everybody get behind the counter!" Sarah yelled as she carried the kid, who had apparently been separated from her mom in the mad scramble to get out of the streets, towards safety.

Her shout unfortunately turned the alien's attention toward her. Hurriedly, she scooted the girl behind the counter and decided to try and draw its fire elsewhere.

"Hey! Shit-for-brains! You wanna go?! This isn't my first catastrophic event!" Sarah yelled at it and threw a napkin dispenser at its head.

It fired at her as she ran toward the exit away from all the people hiding.

"Catch me if you can, fucker!" She yelled over her shoulder at the enraged beast. Since she wasn't really looking where she was going, she tripped over a piece of rubble and felt her ankle twist.

Just as the alien was charging up a blast aimed right at her head, it got blasted itself.

"Whoa, déjà vu!" Came the mechanized voice of Tony Stark.

On a whim, Sarah replied, "Thanks, but could you guys please stop blowing shit up everywhere I go?!"

He roared with laughter as he flew off to destroy more aliens.

 **~/~**

Sarah sighed as she looked for any place still open and not, y'know, destroyed to eat something. Seeing the lights on in a small diner of some ethnicity that wasn't her own, she stumbled in dazedly and asked, "Hey, can I have one of whatever your specialty is?"

The worker nodded and she heard a throat clear behind her.

She turned around and her eyes widened. Seated at a table, looking like they had been thrown into a blender were the group that had defended New York. In that group was Mr. Stark, the dude who had battled the alien robot in New Mexico, and the blonde guy who knocked her down a couple weeks back while being chased by cars.

Sarah didn't recognize the woman, the dude with a bow, or the slightly older fellow with the tired expression. They were all staring at her.

"So…. um… thanks for saving New York?" Sarah awkwardly tried.

"Stark, do you want to explain how you know this girl?" the woman asked, eying them both suspiciously presumably because of Stark's less than stellar reputation with women.

"Easy, Super-Spy Barbie, this kid just keeps seeming to turn up at each disastrous moment in my life." Stark replied with a slight smirk.

"I also was in New Mexico when you-" Sarah pointed at the large man devouring his food with an unholy fervor. "-fought that weird robot thing."

The guy who she now thought might be Captain America based on his ripped outfit exclaimed, "Hey, I think you were there the day I woke up from the ice!"

"Where you mowed me down running away from a ton of cars? Yep." Sarah replied drily, wondering if she should ever leave her apartment again.

The super-group stared at her incredulously.

Yep, she definitely needed to stop going places and doing things.

 _ **Rose Hill, TN**_

 _ **Late December 2012**_

"Seriously?! _Here?_ " As she dragged her cousin behind her parked car to hide as the apparently alive Mr. Stark fought some glowing people.

After a few minutes of distant fighting noises and the water tower coming down, Stark came running towards the cars near them with a boy following him.

"Mr. Stark!" Sarah called, fishing her car key out of her pocket. He looked at her incredulously. She threw her key to him and said, "Not a scratch."

Then she dragged her cousin away, figuring that her aunt and mom were frantic about the commotion in town.

"Why did you give Iron Man your car? Don't you need it?" he asked confusedly.

"It's not like I'll never see him again." Sarah replied drily.

 **~/~**

A couple days later, Sarah found a Ferrari parked in front of her Aunt's house with a note with a key taped onto it that read: ' _Oops. Merry Christmas. -Stark'_

Sarah started laughing hysterically.

 _ **London, United Kingdom**_

 _ **Early November 2013**_

Sarah felt she should have been more terrified when a giant spaceship began tearing through the campus where she was a part of the study abroad program. Instead, she sighed resignedly and started packing up her bag to leave.

Just then, the woman from New Mexico came running through yelling at everyone to leave because of the danger.

"Trying to." Sarah called out wryly, while another student was fanboying over Thor.

When she made it outside, she spotted the other girl from New Mexico fumbling with some weird pole thingies.

 _Fuck it_ , she thought as she ran over to help.

"Hey, do you need any help?" She called out running toward the beany-wearing girl.

The girl looked at her weirdly, "Do I know you?"

Sarah smiled wearily, "I was in New Mexico a couple years back, I think you heard me swearing about it?"

The girl smirked slightly, "I'm Darcy, the intern of Thor's girlfriend."

Sarah grabbed one of the poles and replied, "I'm Sarah, the girl who can't seem to go anywhere without running into some sort of calamity of superhero proportions."

 _ **Washington D.C., DC**_

 _ **April 2014**_

Seeing Captain America and the lady from New York in the Apple store, Sarah just said, "Nope."

She left, googling the times for the soonest train back to New York. _So much for her quick weekend visit to DC for some shopping and a visit to the Captain America exhibit._

Watching the news at the train station, she felt that she had made the right decision.

She had finals starting in a couple weeks and really didn't want to take them covered in bandages.

 _ **Sokovia**_

 _ **May 2015**_

"My first day here. This was my FIRST fucking day here!" Sarah grumbled to herself on the ship she had been shepherded into as the small country she had come to volunteer in was evacuated.

"How is the city evening flying to begin with?!" She continued to rant, checking over the people in the ship for injuries. She had an even larger first aid kit than normal with her, seeing as how the organization she was volunteering with was the Red Cross. Hearing a groan about someone wanting to retire coming from behind her, she spotted the arrow dude lying on some seats next to a body on the floor.

Gingerly making her way over to crouch next to his head she asked, "Would you like me to treat your injuries, arrow dude?"

Grunting as he sat up he asked, "Hey, weren't you in New York?"

Sarah snorted as she began disinfecting his cuts, "And London. And DC. Now here. I really need to stop going places."

He chuckled faintly, "You and me both, kid."

 _ **Vienna, Austria**_

 _ **June 2016**_

"It'll be _fine_ , they said. Tons of people go on trips to Europe after they graduate with no problems!" Sarah ranted, checking the fallen people's injuries in the aftermath of a building next to them exploding. This was pretty much an automatic response at this point.

Perhaps she should just accept her fate and volunteer at the Avenger's facility as a nurse, since she was a graduate and registered now. Perhaps she should invest in a bunker and never leave it.

All Sarah Anderson knew was that driving home from that Community College course all those years ago was either the luckiest or unluckiest thing to ever happen to her.


End file.
